I Do Try But ..

A friend said to me last week.

Anak dan isteri adalah fitnah dunia.

This was a response to my explaining why I haven’t been to the mosque for terawih prayers.  Not in this year, or even for the past many years.

It got thinking actually.  Have I been obsessed with my children all this while that I’ve been neglecting what my religious obligations are?  Have I been too consumed  with the care of kids that I’ve forgotten what my pillars are ?

But I think I need to put things into perspectives here.  Terawih is sunat, a strong one.  Pardon my lack of better words.  But I feel that if I were to go nightly, I’d be leaving my children in the care of the helper who is already with them throughout the day.  And that can’t be fun.  You see, I’m a working mother.  I leave my kids at 7am and return at 6pm and I don’t wish to spend any minute once I’m home away from them.  And it’s not a mighty long time.  It’s a mere 5 hours before they sleep.  So, am I being selfish ?
So, I asked Mosh Tino.

She said to me slowly that.  The fitnah part is right.  But anak-anak is amanah to you.  And women tidak disyaratkan ke masjid.  Apalagi bila kita perempuan gaduh ke masjid, dah membuatkan tak cukup ruang untuk kaum lelaki.

Dan satu lagi.  Boleh, bukan tak boleh bawak anak-anak ke masjid.  Ramai jugak yang bawak helper ke masjid untuk jaga anak sementara ibunya sembahyang.   Bukan aku tak nak, but sungguh pelik & takbetul pulak rasanya if I bring the helper to rumah Allah, untuk bekerja.  Besar sangat kah aku?  Bukankh kita semua hamba Allah juga?

Nak bawak anak-anak pun, bertempatlah rasanya.  tengok saje si Ariz tu.  Jenuh riuh masjid kalau dia pergi.  Berlari kesana-kesini.  Panjat atas, merangkak bawah.  Adani pulak asyik suka menjerit.  Elok aku pergi nak buat ibadat, dapat dosa sebab jemaah lain tak khusyuk.

So, this is my resolution.  I’ll continue my terawih at home.  Where the kids can do what they want without disturbing others.  MrGart can go to the mosque.  Until my kids are bigger, I think I’ll be with them.  They need me more at home.  And meriah is not what I’m after.  And I think if I go because to kejar meriah, niatnya sudah berubah.

Allahualam.